It’s officially back-to -school season. My Instagram and Facebook feeds are filled with photographs of kids in fresh uniform and brand new shoes. I’m personally keeping my fingers crossed that mine keep theirs scuff-free for at least one day.
But aside from the excitement - or dread - of the first day, one of the biggest changes in Autumn is getting back into a routine. After a long (and well deserved) summer break, your thoughts might have also turned to how you can support your child navigate both the academic and social and emotional side of school life.
As a former teacher and mother to three, I know exactly how hard it can be to juggle work, home-life and the expectations of school. Regardless of whether you home-school or your child attends the local school, there is no denying that school can take up a lot of our time. Aside from academics, there’s also meetings, community events and the occasional last-minute dash to complete a costume or project.
Supporting your School-Aged Child - a new series for September
As a former teacher, I also know the formula for success for supporting your school-aged child. So in this brand new series, I’m going to be sharing the information that really helps. Because your support at home genuinely makes a difference. According to the Education Endowment Foundation:
Parental engagement has a positive impact on average of 4 months’ additional progress.
Your support at home can help close attainment gaps but this isn’t done just by helping with homework tasks. There’s a whole range of factors that matter throughout a child’s school journey.
In this series, we’ll cover:
Establishing a simple weekly and daily school rhythm (this article)
Supporting academics
Supporting social and emotional needs
Organisation and Communication
Whilst the Supporting your School-Aged Child is part of the paid membership, I wanted to provide the first email to everyone. All free subscribers will have access to this article for two weeks.
However, if you do want to support my work -and help keep this page running - you can do so below:
What exactly is a rhythm?
Is it different from a routine? Why is it important?
A rhythm is simple flow to your days, weeks and months that you can stick to easily. It is not a strict timetable with set timings for activities.
Young children thrive when things are familiar and predictable. That’s why building a simple daily rhythm is so important if you want life at home to run smoother.
School Rhythms
Regardless of whether your child is starting school for the first time or not, there’s always an opportunity to start afresh with a simple school rhythm.
As a family of five people, our school days used to be slightly chaotic. Everyone needed to be somewhere different; we were often running late and I found it hard to keep track of what was happening when. That was until we introduced a family rhythm.
Our family rhythm helps us to navigate all elements of life - not just school - but if you are just getting started, creating simple weekly and daily school life rhythms can help make life run smoother.
A weekly and daily rhythm during the school term matters because it allows you to set the pace. It will help your child to feel supported, allow them to pursue non-academic activities and spend time with the family.
Weekly Rhythms During School Term
Weekly rhythms during the school term should ideally1 be a blend of academics, extra-curricular activities and family time.
Whilst I give guidelines throughout this article, it’s you that truly knows what you and your family can handle. One child might be exhausted after one extra—curricular activity, whereas another might be able to do several without getting tired.
Many activities both inside and outside of school tend to be dictated by school terms. Whilst this is convenient in many ways, it can feel overwhelming when suddenly everything starts up again.
An example weekly rhythm for a school-aged child
Typically primary school aged children tend to have one library session per week, homework and 1 -2 PE sessions per week. In addition to this, there might be extra-curricular clubs to attend.
Monday: library day (finish and pack book by Sunday evening)
Tuesday: Club after school (pack kit on Monday evening )
Wednesday: PE in school
Thursday: Club after school (pack kit on Wednesday evening )
Friday: Return Homework
Saturday: Adventure (either as a family or 1:1 connection time),
Sunday: Slow Sunday (crafts, baking), family breakfast
How to keep track of everything
If possible, try to start the new school year slowly. Simply beginning school again can be exhausting for primary school aged children so unless you rely on after-school clubs for childcare purposes, consider only enrolling in a maximum of 1-2 clubs for Autumn term.
As much as I love printable resource, the one major thing I find invaluable is to add everything immediately to my Google calendar. Reoccurring events like library day, PE day and homework day are all added as a reminder so that I can keep track of all of the things!
In addition to this, consider printing off individual schedules for your children so that they can become more independent with tasks.
For a primary-aged child, I recommend that you oversee everything and check that they have packed homework, lunches and library books. As children get older and head to secondary school, they should take more responsibility for their timetable and belongings.
After-School Clubs
After-school clubs and extra-curricular activities have many benefits. Not only is sport and the arts great for mental health and well-being, you might find that your child discovers something that they are genuinely passionate about.
For a non-academic child, discovering a talent in a sport or artistic activity can be a huge boost of confidence. For a child who is heavily focused on studies, a break for an extra-curricular activity can help to provide some fun and an opportunity to relax. Of course, these are simply example, a child can be both academic and sporty or even spend years trying different activities until they find something they genuinely love.
Where possible avoid the temptation to fill your child’s week with something new everyday. That can quickly become exhausting for them, especially as the nights draw in. Instead, I recommend starting slow especially in the first few years of school. Try one to two activities to begin with - you can always add more later on.
If you ever feel guilty about your child ‘not doing enough’ remember than having down-time to relax and play independently is extremely important. When we fill every minute of our child’s day with activities designed to entertain, they can lose the ability to play independently.
Before scheduling after-school activities consider:
cost
convenience
timings
whether you child actually enjoys the activity!
Family Time
It’s important to reconnect together as a family at some point during the week. If you’re exceptionally busy during the week, this might be a family breakfast every weekend or a daily bedtime story.
One of the primary benefits of spending time with our family is that it helps us build and strengthen relationships with the people we love. When we spend time together, we have the opportunity to get to know one another on a deeper level, share experiences, and build memories that will last a lifetime. It's through these shared experiences that we create bonds that are essential for maintaining strong relationships with our family members.
Another significant benefit of family time is that it can improve communication within the family. When we spend time together, we have opportunities to talk, listen, and truly understand one another. This open communication can help us resolve conflicts, understand each other's perspectives, and foster a sense of togetherness within the family.
Types of Family Time and how they connect to your family rhythm:
Family time comprises the big and small moments. Family time and moments of connection can be found in:
micro moments of connection within a daily rhythm - e.g. reading a story aloud
macro moments of connection within a weekly or monthly rhythm - e.g. family dinnertime
family rituals (spiritual or secular) e.g. lighting a candle at bedtime and blowing it out before it’s time to go to sleep
family traditions within a weekly, monthly or seasonal rhythm - e.g. having pancakes for breakfast every Saturday morning.
You can get more family time ideas here:
Daily Rhythms During School Term
The before and after-school rhythms are key for supporting your child both academically and with the social-emotional aspects of growing up.
During the school week, you have three key connection opportunities during the day: when your child wakes up, when they come home from school and when they go to bed. Establishing a simple daily before and after school rhythm will help things to run smoother.
‘Before-School’ Rhythms
Why is it important to build a before school rhythm?
Mornings have the power to make or break the entire day. Starting off the day stressed affects the entire family.
Being consistently late for school makes for an unsettled start. The first 10 – 15 minutes of the school day might not seem like a big deal, but being on time helps your child feel settled.
Being organised means you have more time to connect with your child. Connection time – even micro moments – can make all the difference.
Planning and organisation upfront means you’re less likely to forget events. Again, forgetting a library book in the early years might not seem all that important, but it can make your child feel like they are missing out.
Journal Prompts to help improve your before school rhythm
How do I want to feel each morning?
How do I want my children to feel each morning?
What elements of our morning routine work well? Why do they work?
What elements of our morning routine cause problems? How can we eliminate or minimise those problems?
What’s one slight change we could implement immediately?
If you haven’t seen the Good Morning Guide yet, I recommend that you use it to plan smoother before school mornings. You can access the guide by becoming a free subscriber. Please feel free to message me if you haven’t received yours:
‘After-School’ Rhythms
If you have a young child who is at school or nursery all day long, you might notice that they are a little cranky after-school. Perhaps your questions about their day go unanswered or maybe they burst into tears over something that wouldn’t usually bother them.
When I was teaching Grade 2, concerned parents of one of the children I taught asked me what her behaviour was like at school because at home, she would have huge meltdowns. I was surprised by the question as the girl in question was a model pupil: she was kind, helpful and worked very hard in all of her lessons. When I started to research this further, I realised that the girl was probably experiencing something called after-school restraint collapse.
What is after-school restraint collapse?
The term was coined by counsellor and parenting educator, Andrea Loewen Nair. Key attributes include:
crying
screaming
anger and frustration
disrespectful attitude
anger
The collapse typically happens after children have held their emotions in check all day long and followed the behaviour expectations and rules of the school. When they get home to their safe space, it’s easier for children to let their emotions run free.
A simple afternoon rhythm can be beneficial for children. Focus on connection time and plenty of independent play.
A Simple After-School Rhythm for Young Children
Young children thrive on consistency so try to ensure that each day after-school is more or less the same. Whilst it might be tempting to pack in loads of activities when the school day finishes at 3pm, allow plenty of opportunities for rest and independent play.
If you are a working parent/ carer, keep scrolling down for a simplified version of this rhythm.
Nutritious Snack & Drink + Connection Time
Children often don’t eat or drink enough during the day. Sometimes this is because break and lunchtimes in school simply aren’t long enough. Ensure that your child has a nutritious snack or smoothie when they get home.
This is also a really good opportunity to reconnect with your child after school. Ask them specific questions about their day:
What was your favourite part of the day?
Who did you sit next to at lunchtime?
Who did you play with a recess?
If they bring home a piece of art or schoolwork, as them to tell you a little bit about it. Sometimes it’s hard to decipher exactly what a young child’s drawing or writing is about, so here are some openers:
I really like the way you’ve used (colour/pen/shape) in your art.
Can you tell me about your picture?
Can you read your story aloud to me?
You tried so hard to stay on the lines! (when writing)
The website Yummy Toddler Food has some good suggestions for snack ideas that take less than 5 minutes to put together.
Outdoor Time/ Walk Home
Children need at least 2 hours outside every single day – it’s crucial for wellbeing and is a great way to let off some steam after a busy day of learning. You could combine this with the walk home from school or make outside play in the garden a focus (as opposed to TV Time).
Invitation to Play or Create / Independent Play Time
A simple invitation to play or create can help calm your child a day at school.
The emphasis is putting the focus on play rather than a strictly structured activity. Open-ended activities, like the suggestions above, mean that your child can choose the direction of play which is more relaxing than a structured activity.
Reading/Homework
The dreaded homework! If your child does get homework after-school each week, you need to figure out an optimal time to do it. Immediately after school might seem like a good idea, but give your child plenty of time to decompress first.
For us, this is actually in the morning before school – we all wake up incredibly early and it means that after-school time can be all about play and spending time connecting with one another.
You can get some tips on encouraging reading at home here.
Screen Time
Bath/ Shower
Again, this depends upon your family rhythms. My youngest two children have a bath right before bed as it helps signal that it is time to winddown.
Bath time is another great opportunity to play (it can be as simple as adding some bath dye and Duplo blocks) plus in this new Covid-era, we personally like to ensure that the day is washed off before a new one begins!
Bedtime
A non-negotiable at bedtime should be READING together for pleasure. This is not a time to test your child on what words they know, but a time to snuggle down and let the magic of a good book take hold!
After-School Rhythm for Working Parents/Carers
If you are working until 5 – 6pm then a lot of things on this list wont be appropriate – there would simply be too much to pack in! If your child is in an after-school club or at a childminders, then it’s more than likely that they have at least had a snack, played and been outside.
Instead focus on:
Independent play time
Reading together
Using meal preparation as an opportunity to spend time together
Using bath time as a swap for sensory play style activities
In Summary
Establishing a weekly and daily school rhythm will help you to support your school-aged child in a holistic way. Creating a rhythm will allow you to support academics, extra-curricular activities and cultivate family time.
Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, start small. Simply establishing a morning rhythm will work wonders to begin with!
More helpful articles on this topic:
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I say ‘ideally’ because your school-week schedule can also be dependant on what you do for work. Everything I’m suggesting in this article is a guideline rather than something set in stone. Only you know your family situation and what truly works for your family.