Holiday perfectionism? The expectation versus reality of the holiday season
+ 5 parenting beliefs that do not serve us
It’s the 29th of December, I have a chest infection and it’s fair to say that the reality of my Christmas was not what I expected, but then again, it rarely is. To be truthful, most of December has been spent with at least one family member sick.
Christmas Day was busy. In the morning, I downloaded a fluffy, Christmassy book (Something from Tiffany’s by Melissa Hill, in case you are wondering) with the expectation of cosying up and reading a chapter or two, but I still haven’t had the opportunity to read it. At 4pm, I sat down for the first time only for my 80 year-old dad to ask for help fixing the guest bathroom toilet seat that had somehow come loose. And whilst I am over-the-top pleased with myself for figuring out the problem - it did illustrate perfectly that Christmas Day is full of expectation but rarely perfect.
I’m honestly not complaining. It was wonderful to see my parents and spend time with them. It was utterly joyful seeing my children’s eyes light up with the magic of the Christmas season.
The expectations and realities of big events such as Christmas can be so jarringly different. On social media, we see the perfect images of what the holiday season should be.
Here’s the thing, parenting (and life) is rarely perfect - and that’s okay.
Show me a perfect parent and I’ll show you a unicorn. Perfect parents exist in the form of Instagram influencers who share reels of their perfect children playing perfectly in perfectly immaculate clothing. But we only ever see a snapshot of reality.
One of the biggest lessons I learnt was that we never truly know what is going on in someone else’s life - especially someone who we follow on Instagram. A much better approach is to follow your own path. Set your intentions, create a family rhythm and simplify.
5 Parenting Beliefs that do not serve us.
The Perfect Parent Myth:
No one is a perfect parent. Whilst we might have moments of brilliance, no one is a perfect parent 100% of the time - even those influencers on Instagram!
The idea that you have to follow a parenting philosophy in absolute:
You don’t have to be full-on Montessori, or ‘crunchy’ or Waldorf. Do your research, then pick and choose the elements that serve you. Create a family rhythm based on your values.
Striving for balance
Balance is hard. Balance means continually spinning plates that you might drop any second. Instead, try to ‘tilt.’
The idea that you have to play with your child all day
Set a gentle daily rhythm that helps your child understand when you can play and when you can’t. Independent play is really good for children so don’t feel bad about the times when you can’t (or don’t want to) play.
The idea that days at home have to be complicated
You don’t need to schedule your entire day or enrol your child in heaps of classes in order for them to have a good childhood. Understanding play means you can simplify what it looks like at home.
Set your Intentions for 2023
Following your own path means setting your intentions for the year. This is something I do every December during the quiet week between Christmas and New Years.
I personally prefer to set intentions rather than New Years Resolutions. Intentions allow me to really think about what I want to achieve rather than writing down an arbitrary goal to ‘stop eating junk’ or ‘exercise more.'
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